My heart fluttered as soon as I stepped off the BART train at the Civic Center, but I didn’t let that obscure the purpose of my trip.
Circling City Hall twice, admiring the architecture and valuing the memories, I slowly advanced towards the UN Plaza. Periodically taking glances of those buildings that have such adverse effects on me, I turned to sit down at the foot of the plaza statue. I don’t know how long I was sitting there, but I found myself astonished at how surreal the picture before me was.
It’s difficult to consider what was here a year ago.
I walked down Market Street, making impromptu decisions as to where to visit next. Turning left on Grant, I entered Chinatown - my favorite district. Now I have frequently been about this culturally thriving attraction of San Francisco, but just for today, my surroundings felt different.
After all, it’s difficult to consider what was here a year ago.
I abruptly changed course and walked all the way to Pier 39. It was a long walk from Chinatown, but seeing the dozen or so sea lions made it worthwhile. After briefly admiring the framed album artwork in the Antiquities store, I backtracked to the Ferry Building. Crossing the street, with the Embarcadero BART station in clear view, I changed my course one more time: a monumental visit to the Hyatt Regency.
It was routine for me; I took the elevator to the fourteenth floor, mesmerized by the beautiful strings of lights that hung from the top tiers to the atrium. From the elevator I proceeded to that window where I’ve been so many times. I looked out the view, remembering everything. Sitting down - politely leaving that bit of space right next to me - I quietly spoke a few reflective words. As if it was all there, I let whatever I was talking to know how I felt. “Happy one year.”
For other people with other circumstances, today would be a day of great celebration. And that is something I really appreciate about San Francisco. All around me were the happiest of couples, passing the time at the same places I visited. To this, I had to smile, quietly wishing them the best. Perhaps they can come back in a year, and relive those same moments, having the time of their lives.
As for me? At some point during my journey, a heavy rain came pouring down. The prepared among us had their umbrellas at the ready; others hustled into the nearest building; I embraced that sky-full of water in its entirety. It was of no concern how depressing such an image would seem - I thought it was just perfect.
Besides, it’s difficult to consider what was here a year ago.
Today was one year later, and I walked alone - in my favorite city, amidst the most sentimental places, and in the rain. One year later, while the picture I painted was not the one I have wished for, at least it made sense. Yes, for what it was worth, it made perfect sense.
